Therapy With The Marauders
by SarcasticFanatic
Summary: This was it.This was how they were going to die.They knew that hexing the Head Of Gryffindor would lead to serious repercussions. but who knew that the Gryffindor Head could give Azkaban a run for their money? Lily had envisoned seventh year differently.


**Disclaimer: Yeah, because life is just that nice. **

**(Thank you to my beta, Mocha, for proofreading and editing this story!)**

_**Therapy With Marauders**_

"THAT'S IT!" came the voice of a certain Gryffindor Head of the House—and after carefully viewing the circumstances, no one can really blame her.

Professor McGonagall glared at the six Gryffindors in front of her; it was freaky that even after having eggs added to her delightful visage, while a normal person would look funny, she was able to look like nesting dragon protecting her eggs.

"I want all of you in my room in one hour." Her volume changed from a screech to a deadly low whisper that could send chills even through Sirius Black. "And I want this whole mess cleaned up in ten minutes. Is that _understood_?" The six Gryffindors nodded, afraid to anger her already-stretched-to-the-breaking-point patience.

She then gave them one last glare that could have melted a glacier and walked away, the peacock tail attached to her behind giving a funny spasm.

As soon as she had gone, the voices of the six Gryffindors rose in indignation.

"This, Potter is all your fault—" began a very much angered Lily Evans.

"My fault, _my_ fault, what are you going on about, Evans? This is all _your_ fault!" yelled an overly dramatic James Potter.

"Oh shut up, you lot, we need to clean up this mess," said a certain Mr. Sirius Black, rolling his eyes at his friend's theatrics. It was quite unusual seeing the robust young Sirius Black giving advice on how to fix a situation, as he normally played a huge role in the destruction of it.

Remus Lupin, the normally calm reasonable voice of the Marauders, in a shaking, stunned and slightly hysterical voice said, "An egg. You all threw an egg on McGonagall and gave her peacock feathers and duck feet? Oh Lord… oh, Lord what have I done? I gave the head of the _house_ a freaking beak, a _beak…_ what have I done? What will Mom say?"

"She'll be proud of you, of course," stated a person affectionately known as Padfoot proudly. "Just like we are."

To which the werewolf, also called Moony, gave him a dirty look and said, "Which is exactly the reason she will be so ashamed of me, What did you _do-o-o?"_ He wailed out the last word.

Sirius in turn rolled his eyes. Seems like he was doing a lot of that recently.

Lily and James continued battling it out, while Remus hyperventilated and Sirius rolled his eyes once more. Seeing the progress that they were all making a new voice arose calling everyone's attention to it. "_Oi!_ Shut it, you idiots. Didn't you hear Minnie? She wants this clean _pronto_, and I, for one, am not interested in writing out my eulogy this early, capisce? So either you help me or I'll make you." The voice belonged to a blonde Dorcas Meadows.

At this all the commotion stopped, and everyone looked at Dorcas with shock.

One, however, giggled. "You sure know how to control them, D, have you ever thought about a career in The Control Of Magical Beasts?"

All those who were participant in the earlier commotion glared at the new voice, Dorcas however smiled and thoughtfully considered the proposition.

"That's not a half bad idea, Al." However, she soon snapped up from the trance and with a voice not unlike that of a military dictator barked, "All right, you lot. Black—I want you to deal with the curtains, and Lily, you…"

And now let's just leave them to their cleaning, shall we? I'll now take you to the previously nicknamed "Minnie" or as she was known then, and being whispered about by frightened first years – Professor McGonagall's office, where the aforementioned was trying without much success to remove the hexes and charms that she had fallen prey to. However, to general concern we find Minnie also sprouting curse words that would make even Sirius Black blush. Guess Professors in Hogwarts are picked due to their all around development.

Let's just go back to the scene we left earlier and come back when the words are more… appropriate.

"WE SHALL OVERCOME, WE SHALL DESTROY! WE SHALL—"

"SIRIUS, YOU MORON—SHUT YOUR TRAP!"

"Yo Lily Bud, so blue, huh?"

"POTTER! YOU IMPERTINENT LITTLE—"

_Is there no place in Hogwarts that isn't befouled?_

Lets just wait until both parties can cooperate, shall we? So, how are you?

Ahhh… We have just received word that all is as good as it can get in Minnie's room.

"That blasted Sirius Black and James Potter… ruddy children. Remus and Lily, too, never thought... Oh, who am I kidding, all children are little devils that just wait for you to let your guard down and when you do… _bam!_" At this point the calm and collected professor emphasized with a bang on her desk.

My, my—I'm growing quite concerned for her health. But then, anyone who has had to live with the aforementioned six Gryffindors are justified in having a screw or two loose. Constant exposure is never good, you know.

"I'll show them… I'll show them," McGonagall muttered revengefully, apparently at herself.

Poor woman, we'll miss her.

Back to the now unrecognizable room which previously looked like a war zone. Lily, Alice and Dorcas lay on the ground exhausted while the other three leaned against the wall for support.

Being exhausted is a very good state for teenagers—they have less energy to destroy their surroundings.

"We are overcome, we are destroyed…" came the frail tune emanating from the person singing the same song with different words earlier.

Remus rolled his eyes, but he couldn't help but agree as those were the words he had been earlier repeating in his head as the disaster had unfolded.

The last Marauder sighed, completely bewitched.

Wait—WHAT?

Looking back at the young Quidditch captain we see him looking longingly at a girl with red hair lying on the ground 4 feet from him.

Ah, young love.

This thought was obviously running through many heads at that times as not only was Remus Lupin observing the Head Boy but so was Dorcas Meadows.

She rolled her electric blue eyes in exasperation. Boys, she authoritatively decided, were morons—clueless morons, to be more precise—the combination was deadly and in James' case, life threatening as Lily was, she wasn't someone you could mess with and emerge unscathed. That girl wasn't someone who hid her anger in a subtle manner.

"Alright, guys," Lily said tiredly, "Come on—we have to go get our _punishment_."

Everyone groaned and they together went to the familiar and panic-filled route to McGonagall's office.

Sirius knocked once, then again, then again…..

"Hey, are you playing BINGO?" Alice asked excitedly.

Dorcas and Remus rolled their eyes.

James cracked a small smile.

"All right, that's enough, Sirius, come on." Lily opened the door, only to give a preceding speech to a conversation that would haunt her very soul for the next six months.

"Ah, welcome," McGonagall said in an eerie imitation of a Divination professor that would haunt the Towers some years from now.

The six fearless Gryffindors gulped. This was it. This was how they were all going to die.

**Lame ending, I know. But I really wanted to get this up before I continued all my other fics. I am really excited about this fic. By the way, if any of you have any ideas you want to include in this fic, just let me know!**

**I would be lying if I said I don't care about reviews, so please do review. **


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